When you’re not overtaken with smells there’s sometimes plenty to listen to even when you don’t want to. Some people just want to be heard by everyone. Usually younger people. The two teenage boys for instance. They could not help but talk about about sex with their girlfriends. The one went on and on about sex with his girlfriend. How she could not get enough because of how big his … um …. Member was. And how he could get her to do anything he wanted because he was so big. Gotta love teenage boys, right? There were just a few of us in the rear of the bus. But one older gentleman felt the need to chime in. In all seriousness he says “Enjoy it while you can boys, it shrinks when you get older. Mine is the size of my pinky finger now.” I wanted to turn around and see if they were as pale as their silence indicated as this man went on and on about his urologist and how it started to shrink in his late thirties, but I was too busy trying not to laugh too loudly. A few stops later and he pulled the bell and was off.  To the urologist no doubt.
Then there was the guy, mid twenties I’d say, that “was late because I had to change pants because I shit myself”. Fortunately for him it looked like a mustard stain or so he said. He went on about it for twenty minutes. How proud he was. Fun times!

This is part of a column I sometimes (read not nearly often enough) write for my friend arin721. You can find the whole thing here.